Readers, let me tell you a little secret. This must go no further, but the truth is that Miley Cyrus is a secret Rebel Army agent. Abandoned by her father Billy Ray when she was but a nipper, Miley was raised by yours truly at the Rebel Army Kiddlywinks Camp. Billy donated her to the Rebel Army so that he could continue rebelling against Country Music, and I raised her as my own. Readers, she has responded to her programming extremely well! She makes a fine rebel, just like Bob Marley.When I saw the footage of her smoking that funny cigarette at the EMAs, I must admit I shed a little tear. Look how far she's come! Sob!
Yours emotionally,
Major Gripes
[VG]
