Menu


HHHH photo Videosbutton-1.jpg

30/03/2015

The Burning Desire Of ISIS


The Rebel Army has hitherto regarded ISIS with a certain ambivalence. Yes, we like their guns and their cool masks, but we weren't so sure about this Sharia Law business. The word "law" is of course likely to turn the stomach of any true rebel.

However, their recent actions have begun to make us wonder if Sharia Law means something completely different to our antiquated "western" values of Law and Order. I suspect it basically just means smashing things up!

Their destruction of ancient artifacts at Mosul museum was our first clue, but they soon turned their rebellious hands to music... Like an army of Jimi Hendrixes, they began attacking keyboards, guitars and setting drum kits on fire!

ISIS ARE TOTALLY ROCK 'N' ROLL!

[JN]

A Message To All Rebellious Publishers Of Comic Books!


Greetings! The new Rebel Army graphic novel is finally ready for print! It chronicles the beginnings of our noble organisation and it's first brushes with the Squares and Suits who rule our poor oppressed world.

If any of you Rebelteers out there in cyberspace can help our cause to reach a reliable publisher you will certainly earn yourselves some stripes!

Of course, getting it officially published will be breaking a few Rebel Army rules. But then again - rules are made to be broken! Even our own... is that right? Sorry, I'm experiencing one of my occasional moments of confusion. I'm going to have to lie down for a bit...

[JN]

22/03/2015

Tea for Suckers

Dear readers, if you ever want to partake of a rebellious beverage, head down to 6/8 Kafe on Temple Row, Birmingham City Centre. I attended this fine establishment only yesterday, and made a startling discovery. Upon heading to the counter to purchase a cup of tea (as a joke, as if I would drink something so square), I was amazed to be charged £2.50. 

That’s right, readers, 6/8 Kafe have the rebellious gall to charge two hundred and fifty English pence for a teabag and some hot water in a cardboard cup. “Two pound fifty?” I spluttered, amazed at the brazen cheek of it all.  

Then, dear readers, I took a look around at the clientele, with their beards and bandanas and realised something. 6/8 Kafe is totally rebellious! Only a rebel would charge such an extortionate amount for a cup of builder’s tea. 

These guys are fleecing their customers and no mistake! If you want to con people out of their hard-earned money, all you need is to spell the word café with a K instead of a C, put some grainy black and white photos of your kafé on your website, and hey presto, you can charge whatever you want. But you must find the right audience, In this case, it would be people who, when asked to pay £2.50 for a cup of tea, instead of replying "How dare you! This is an outrage!", will simply say "Cool". These are the people who cannot tell the difference between being cool and being a gullible moron. 

I shall certainly be frequenting this den of rebels in the future and revelling in the sheer nerve of it all. I shall be delighted to be taken advantage of by these cheeky scamps!

So, dear rebels, next time you find yourself in Birmingham city centre, buy a cup of rebellious tea and hold it aloft and declare “I am a gullible moron!”

20/03/2015

The Eclipse: Seeing things differently...



I was told by the BBC and other "authorities" not to look directly at the eclipse today. Can't quite figure out their true motives but I defiantly stared right at that sucker for twenty minutes!

And the joke's on them because the doctors tell me I have at least a 20% chance of my sight returning! Mind you, what do they know...

[JN]

11/03/2015

Naked Ambition


Looks like somebody's been doing their Rebel homework! Real class, Jessie J!

Popstar and activist Jessie J caused a stir last Sunday with a brave political demonstration. In her very own Tiananmen Square moment she bore her soul (and her body) in front of the oppressive patriarchal media as if to say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

In giving us all a flash of her near-naked body she paid solemn respect to International Women's Day. Showing that no matter how much the establishment try and stop her, she's gonna keep on taking her clothes off and rubbing her liberty in their boring old faces until they finally respect her.

In addition, this concert - or "happening" - took place in Jakarta. A rather conservative country rendering her performance all the more poignant.

Shame that not everyone was impressed...

"I'm pretty sure international women's day does not stand for flaunting your body to thousands of people in order to sell yourself."

So read a comment from user elbow. Its probably a post from that boring indie band! What do they know about civil rights anyway? I mean, what's sexy about an elbow?! Get lost grandads!

Just going to google some pictures of Rosa Parks now. Must be some reason she's so respected.

[JN]