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26/10/2014

BREAKING NEWS!






This just in: Derek Zoolander and Russell Brand have joined forces to launch a revolutionary new educational facility called THE BRAND~ZOOLANDER CENTRE FOR PEOPLE WHAT WANNA DO GOOD FINGS AND NOT BE SO WHACK TO THE PLANET ANYMORE.

The centre will launch tomorrow with courses in Ecology, Theology, Philosophy and Male Grooming. All courses are to be taught by Brand, there is no timetable and Brand has declared in a statement that he does not intend to do any lesson plans. Instead he's just going to "wing it and talk the trewf to all the people and that".

Good luck boys! This is a major milestone on the road to progress!

[JN]

Take it to the tweets - Russell Brand and the ReLOVEution



At the start of Russell Brand's new video to promote his new book ReLOVEution, we are asked a pretty provocative question: "Are you happy with the way things are?". Well of course not! We want to rebel! please show us how Russell!

Thankfully Russell and his team manage to engage the wisdom of the general public via the medium of twitter to give us some very pragmatic advice, which is then projected onto the sides of buildings, which makes it look all cool and that.

For example, @buddleibar tweets "Ask for the truth in every way, and then follow the flow, and keep asking, asking, asking, you'll know".

Great advice there! And so simple! All we've got to do is "follow the flow"! Now why hadn't I thought of that?!

Also: "Be None of the Above Join the #ReLOVEution Reject the system". More illuminating words of wisdom from rebel operative @NoneAboveUK. Also playing fast and loose with the rules of grammar too: He'll put a capital letter wherever he damn well pleases! Just like a young rebel should!

But perhaps my favourite of all is "We need change". What a perceptive remark from @joshyouher!

Obviously we're beginning to get very deep into some complicated political thought here. But to properly understand politics would probably take a lot of time and be very boring, so I'm glad there are others in our cause to do that work for me. For example, I'm sure whoever came up with the line "all else has failed" had done some pretty detailed research into the political history of Britain and - for reasons perhaps only properly understood by this prophet of our times - has decided that such things as the welfare state and the whole history of parliamentary democracy were just a load of old codswollop!

That's right, let's smash the system! After all "The people who say the system works, WORK FOR THE SYSTEM" and its not as if we even need it anymore - not now we've got this whole new rigorous and progressive ideology to hold on to!




[JN]