Insurgent Surgery

Glad news arrived today. A young lady has achieved an almost literal interpretation of the Rebel Army message. She has found the golden path, the "third way", between the same old left and right of the body politic.

In a simple act of mammary defiance this young renegade truly embodies the very essence of the Rebel Army mantra, "Why [do something] when you can [do another thing]?"

i.e. WHY HAVE TWO BREASTS WHEN YOU CAN HAVE THREE???

Here are some other examples:
- Why have a cup of tea when you can have crystal meth?
- Why stay faithful to your wife when you can have an affair?
- Why do the dishes when you can kick a wall?

C'mon girls, why be boring like all those other two-breasted women walking around like they own the place? Why not do something different?!

[JN]

Advice for Scots

[Image taken from - without permission of course! - the film 'Braveheart'.]

One of the most important lessons a young rebel must learn is that WINNING IS FOR LOSERS. Take Obama for example. He was black. A bit of a headstart in the old counter-culture game. Unfortunately he had to go and ruin it all by actually winning the election and becoming president! Such a pity...

Now currently here in Britain we have our very own little Obama causing controversy on the political battleground: Alex Salmond, leader of the Scottish National Party.

We here at Rebel Army HQ are of course staunch supporters of the SNP but there are growing concerns within our ranks that the 'yes' campaign may be too well organised and that the SNP might actually win! If this dire outcome should come to pass, the SNP would regrettably lose their noble underdog status.

So our message to the Scots would be to throw all your support behind the 'yes' campaign leading up to polling day. Shout about it on the streets, rally the troops on the internet, but when you actually get inside that voting booth and see the ballot paper in front of you, make sure you vote NO!

[JN]