Look closely at this picture Rebelteers. For this is what I was presented with on a Rebel Army reconnaissance mission last weekend. Does everything seem fine to you? The billboards? The strip club? The endless rows of gaudy shop signs? All perfect symbols of The Great Rebellion's success in occupying Britain's High Streets. But look a little closer and you will see something rather more sinister... a church!
That's right! How on earth could we have let that one slip?! Just when it seemed we'd got things all sown up I realise that there is so much work still to do! This is no time to be resting on our laurels, Rebel comrades! A church on the High Street?! Is nothing sacred anymore?!!
Those slimy Christians are experts at hiding in plain sight. Only earlier today I sat down to eat my lunch and admire the view of a newly opened branch of Topshop. As I took a bite of one of my Rebel sandwiches, I realised to my horror and disgust that I was perched on the ancient wall of a church!
I consider it extremely sneaky of those Victorian architects, to design buildings that would blend into their surroundings so well that they would not be seen – the crafty swines! These buildings do not draw attention to themselves at all. They do not stand out, or make a “statement” like a building should. But they are definitely there. Once your eyes are opened you suddenly realise – these things are everywhere! So watch out the next time you sit on a wall to eat your lunch – you may be sitting right next to a church!
Stay alert Rebelteers and perhaps soon we will see the day when we flush them all out, once and for all, in the name of freedom, liberty and progress! HURRAH!
Yours in Rebellion,
Major Gripes
[JN & VG]
