Rihanna's "Pour It Up" - Unadulterated Feminism!

I've been seeing a lot of whining about Rihanna's new video "Pour It Up" on the internet recently and all I've got to say to these haters is ya - boo - sucks! No way is this modern feminist icon going to pander to your patriarchal need to control and repress! She's going to completely ignore all you male chauvinists by getting her kit off! Ha! Weren't expecting that, were you!? This feisty lady is calling all the shots!

Not literally of course; that's unheard of. The man for that job is master director Vincent Haycock.

Another excellent example of Haycock's progressive vision is his video to Calvin Harris's "Thinking About You". One of the opening shots of a woman's naked buttocks walking through a mansion must make him very proud. So proud in fact that he decided to let this particular shot last uninterrupted for over 30 seconds for no other reason, I'm sure, than to make it absolutely clear that this young lady was indeed truly liberated! Bravo!

The Suffragettes could have really used a man like Haycock to help get their message across. The message being, of course, that all feminists just love being in the nip! Groovy!

Yours in rebellion,

Major Gripes

Rebel inspiration:
'BattyMamzelle' article
Rihanna - "Pour It Up"
Calvin Harris ft. Ayah Marar - "Thinking About You"

[JN]

Global Times sticks it to the UK

Congratulations to the Global Times, the state-run Chinese newspaper who have been sticking it to the UK this week. The prestigious publication described the UK as being "only good for studying and tourism", and "a country of old Europe with a few decent football teams". The paper is to be congratulated. This is how a nation should conduct its propaganda - big , bold and bolshy!

Some would suggest that the Global Times' position as a state-run propaganda machine would discredit its claim at any kind of legitimacy. But not me! The Global Times is totally within its rights to lecture the UK about global power, and is in no way the mouthpiece of a corrupt totalitarian regime!

If only the UK could be more like China, not weighed down by things like equality, justice and workers' rights. The Brits pine for those days when they could swagger around the world upsetting people, with no thought of what this would mean for their descendants. Perhaps they could emulate the Foxconn factory in Longhua, practically enslaving poor people in a pitiless work regime which leaves them so bereft that they have to commit suicide to make their voices heard!

Oh wait - I've just remembered! The UK has already done all that stuff. That's what led it to being the rebellious nation it is today. China, you've just begun your rebellious quest. You've got a long way to go before you reach the rebellious heights the UK has - but we know you'll get there in the end! 

[VG]

Little Miley and her funny cigarette

Readers, let me tell you a little secret. This must go no further, but the truth is that Miley Cyrus is a secret Rebel Army agent. Abandoned by her father Billy Ray when she was but a nipper, Miley was raised by yours truly at the Rebel Army Kiddlywinks Camp. Billy donated her to the Rebel Army so that he could continue rebelling against Country Music, and I raised her as my own. Readers, she has responded to her programming extremely well! She makes a fine rebel, just like Bob Marley.When I saw the footage of her smoking that funny cigarette at the EMAs, I must admit I shed a little tear.
Look how far she's come! Sob!

Yours emotionally,

Major Gripes

[VG]

Russell Brand Interview

I give my assessment of that Russell Brand Interview.

[VG]

Million Mask March

Bravo to Anonymous for staging the Million Mask March this week, and socking it to the man once more. I want to congratulate them for keeping the focus of their anger obscure, thereby preventing the mainstream media (and the public) from figuring out what it was all about!

There were 450 protests in different cities throughout the world, most of them looking like deranged Halloween parties! Again I thank Rebellion that the protesters were able to keep the meaning of their protest as vague as possible!

Only one group let the side down. Protesters in Armenia chose to actually make their demonstration about something (a fixed election or whatever- yawn!) and were promptly arrested. Poor show, chaps – if you had kept your protesting vague and obscure like the rest of the world, you might not find yourself in jail – think on it!

Yours in Rebellion,

Major Gripes

[VG]

Thatcher

Hurrah!

Wise words from our great leader! Like Jagger, Dylan and all the great rebels, Thatcher exhorts us to stuff the crowd and follow ourselves. What a Dame!

[VG]

The Rebel Army take Edinburgh

Hurrah! I'd like to report a recent triumph. The Rebel Army stormed the Edinburgh Festival. Performing at the Free Fringe, we were crowned Kings of Fringe, and won every award going, including Most Rebellious Show.